My only other theories about why this illness is lingering... I think perhaps that the open sore in my mouth is contributing. Cause I broke that molar on December 23rd and I just haven't gotten to the dentist yet. A large chunk of my tooth is gone all the way to the gum. For some reason, this doesn't bother me that much. I keep thinking that children don't get sick when they lose their teeth.
The other theory is that I am sick from suddenly becoming active after years of being sedentary. That combined with becoming active in the middle of winter. I've been outside a lot. More than I think I have ever been outside during the winter before. I wear my gloves and my coat and my ear warmer and my scarf. There's really nothing I can do about that right now, I can't drive, my car is dead, I have to take the bus, blah blah blah. So, if that's why I am sick, I'll just have to stay sick. Spring will be here soon.
The final idea is stress. Waste being there, Waste leaving, trying to learn to cook, my car breaking, my tooth breaking, my ankle breaking, my phone lines breaking, my house being messy, work, NotBoyAnymore, losing an hour of sleep to having to take the bus, my computer dying, it's been a stressful couple of months. Add to that the part where I eat crap. The illness seems to get worse when I am not eating well. Okay, well, since I hurt my ankle, I can't actually carry anything liquid. Combine what a pest my cat is in the kitchen.... I can't cook. I never could cook. Now, I can't really even just microwave. Well, I can get the frozen dish into the microwave, but then I can't get it out and to the table to eat.
Yeah, so smoking seems like the most probable reason to me that the illness is lingering. If you heard me cough, you'd believe me that I just have to stop for awhile. Just til I get well.
Next: This morning I was 45 minutes late to work. And the stupid cat ran out under my crutch when I went outside to get on the bus. So, poor Isis, who has never been outside before, now lives outside until either he comes home and walks into the house himself or he gets hit by a car. I am really very worried about him. He's so stupid and he's never been outside. I can't carry him though, my ankle is dead. He ran under a parked car.
He's prolly gonna get crushed in someone's engine just trying to find a nice warm place to sleep. Seriously, I really hope he's standing at the door crying when I get home tonight. I feel so guilty for leaving my cat out. But there really wasn't anything I was capable of doing.
So, now the ball is very much in his court. And I don't even know that I want to be involved in the game.
[I want to smoke. Already. I was just thinking how I might be able to get my boss to get me smokes during lunch. I am not going to stay on this wagon too long. Before I stopped, I smoked one pack Friday - Monday. Three weeks ago, that would have been probably three packs...]