I walk into the lobby. Once I saw the line, all thoughts of running to the bathroom and yanking up my tights vanished. It was a long line.
The entire time I was waiting, I could feel my tights slipping down. Then suddenly I realized they were below my ass. They appeared to have paused there. I thought I was in the clear. I could pay my gas bill, and then run into the bathroom and yank them up. I was beginning to have visions of the wrinkles that were appearing on my knees and ankles. At that moment, those seemed embarrassing.
Eventually I was actually paying my gas bill. After some discussion with the lady about how I wanted to pay the whole thing and not just the balance I didn't pay last month when they made me put down the deposit, I was paying the bill. Then while she went to get my receipt from the printer..... my tights actually fell off.
They were around my ankles. What the fuck do I do now? Okay, I slipped my feet out of the heels and as discreetly and gracefully as possible, removed my tights from my ankles and put them in my coat pocket. In the middle of the crowded lobby. I couldn't very well leave them there. For starters, I wouldn't be able to walk. I didn't want to yank them up. I wouldn't have been able to get them far enough up to assure that this wouldn't happen again without flashing the whole place. At that point, it was waaay too late to excuse myself to the restroom... So, I just took them off.
Then after I paid, I asked the security guard for directions to the restroom and he laughed and stared at my pale pale pale scrawny hairy dry skinned white legs and gave me directions. I went to the restroom and put them back on.
I kid you not, the entire lobby was laughing so hard when I got into the bathroom that I could hear them.
I walked back out and someone asked if I got myself situated okay.
I shouldn't be allowed out in public.... and I have to do laundry so I can have some pants to wear to work again......