The girl has no idea. I learned form watching her. She thinks I was just chewing on her and napping, but I was watching. I am a very smart Monster. I know how to write in her journal. Write write write in the journal.
The girl hasn't even figured out how toconnect to the internet from home, but I am so smartthat I know.
All of these here stories are true true true. And much better than the whiney, sad, lonely theme the girl's got going.
One day I was living my normal life. Chasing adn killing and eating things that you might or might not be able to see (Monsters have special vision you know). Sometimes napping. Chewing on the girl every now and then. Then the girl started the packing and it was time for to get into my adventure box.
We went drive drive drive and then I cried and she's so easy. She let me out. Then we drove and I watched everything go by and I would have liked it to be slower but that wasn't what happened. What happened was that it went by fast and I had to watch really closely.
Then we stopped. We went inside a house. Then the adventure box door opened and there was a DOG! I made scary noises and the dog went away. Then I looked at the girl and was like "Why? WHy did you take me to where there is a dog?" and she was like "You'll learn to be friends. OR you won't. Whatever."
Then she left me there. With the dog and the lady and the guy. And I have to tell you that I am a suburban cat. I like grass in moderation. This place was too much. You have to go across big open fields to get to anywhere safe. No thanks. I sat on the patio a lot.
Then my tail tried to fall off. THe lady took me somewhere in my adventure box and they touched it and I am so strong and pretty that everyone in the whole place came to try to touch my tail, but I said "NONONONONO!" and the lady looked pretty humiliated.
Then they all went away. The dog and the lady and the guy. They went away and left me behind. It was boring and lonely. Except! I got to kill the mice inside the house. Kill kill kill the mice. So much fun to kill a mouse. I have to make it last all day long because there just aren't enough mice...
Then the girl came back! And I bit her. And then I got back into my adventure box. Then we went drive drive drive and I barely cried and she let me out. She wouldn't let me sit in the driver's seat though. Boo.
Then I got to the next place and when she opened the door there was a CAT on the other side of it. I screamed. I was like "Girl, I don't know what's wrong with you, but this is not the colleseum. Everytime I get out of my adventure box I shouldn't be faced with blood sport fighting." I am a well educated Monster, you know.
Then the cat went away. But not too far. It was on the other side of the door and all night long I watched to make sure it didn't get through the door.
THen back in the adventure box again! This time I didn't get out of it. We went to some plce the girl calls the airport.
They tried to make me get out of the box. I said noNONNONO! For all I knew there was an alligator waiting for me. Then two men pulled on the box while the girl pulled on me and I had to come out. In one minute the box came back and I hopped back in.
Then we were in a big room with lots of chairs. The girl opened the box and I climbed onto her lap and looked around. Then I said "No thanks" and went back in the box.
I rode in a closet on the first airplane. I cried when we landed, but then I found out that's just landing and it doesn't hurt, it's just loud. So, after that I was okay.
Then the girl hooked the leash to my box and I rode along on wheels through the airport. We went outside and the girl smoked and kids stared at me. I stared back. Then we went back through the airport and there were more men with TSA on their clothes.
I said NONONONONONO! and they said "You'll have to remove the animal from the carrier, ma'am" and the girl said "C'mon, Monster, please come out." and I said "NO FUCKING WAY THIS PLACE IS TOO BIG ADN OPEN AND NOT SAFE AND I SMELL AN ALLIGATOR COMING TO EAT ME". THen some of the people helped her yank me out.
That all happened a second time too after that.
Then I was asleep and I woke up and we were at an apartment with no other animals. I was very happy. THe girl and I were happy together for three days. Then she started crying all the time.
Then she packed and I got into my adventure box and I wasn't allowed to go on the adventure.
Then I was bored and lonely all by myself in the apartment for six days. SIX DAYS. So long! It was terrible. I used all the litter and most of the water and I was so bored.
THen the girl c ame back and I bit her and I cried at her and I bit her some more and then I chewed on her arms and legs when she tried to sleep and I don't think she'll ever leave me like that again.
THen she left. SHe came back a few hours later though. I sat by the door and cried and cried because I wanted to leave her like she left me so she would know how bad it feels to get left behind/ She wouldn't open the door though.
Then she finally opened the door because I was annoying enough. I went outside. I laid on the cement. I didn't go too far though. Then I came back and laid with my head in thed oor. I would like the option of leaving the apartment if I so choose.
This morning she left me all alone again, and so I took over her journal. When she gets home I'm gonna chew on her a lot.
That's the true story of my big adventures in the last few weeks.