They do suck.
Between the deep fried anything that isn't an animal and the lifesavers.... I also cannot cook. Can Not Cook. At all. Whatsoever. Really. Can barely bring water to a boil. Everything I eat comes from the microwave (it turns itself off) or Waste cooks it for me. Or I eat it burnt. Unless of course it gets done when I finish my cigarette and meander back through the whole house (why do I have to walk through my bedroom to get to the kitchen?) to check on it. If I remember it is cooking by the time I finish the cigarette.
When Waste sees my cooking skills first hand, he usually starts yelling "what is your plan?" "what do you think you are doing with that?" "how does that become edible?" "is your intention to burn down our home?" and then he takes over.
I have kitchen utensils that I don't even know how to work. When my last roommate from college came over, she noticed that the tag was still on my whisk. She thought that was hilarious. It was in the sink with the dirty dishes cause somehow I got Tang all over the entire silverware drawer.....
I eat shitty food cause I am a danger to myself and others when I try to make good food for myself.